When you are in the midst of adversity it is so hard to be thankful for what you are going through. This post marks 30 years from my first surgery to my last. Looking back, I never dreamed that being born with a cleft lip would someday be something I would openly share with the world, let alone thank God for. I see now how my journey can be both educational and inspirational and that is why I am taking a break from my usual art and design topics to transparently celebrate the beauty of being different.
This happy chubby lil thing is me, blissfully unaware of my cleft lip and lovin’ life! Though my parents were surprised at my birth with my malformation, they loved me completely and bravely took on caring for my special needs. Today, birth defects are seen in an ultra sound and mothers are often encouraged to kill these babies. What these mothers are not told is that every child is a heritage from the Lord and perfect in His eyes! I am so thankful that I was given the chance to live! I want my life to prove the value of a child with a birth defect.
I know that at times it was very hard on my parents. The financial burden of a normal child is hard enough on the average american family, but having a little girl who needed multiple surgeries, visits to specialists, and major dental work put quite a strain on them. Putting their baby through all the intense treatments was emotionally hard for them as well. However they saw me as: “A gift from God that we’re so proud of “- lyrics from a song my parents made up and sang to me my whole life.
From an early age I was a take-charge and very nurturing child (my siblings might say I was bossy). God also wired me to be an artist; I spent countless hours creating things, painting, and drawing. These attributes were the building blocks of the women I am today. After earning my bachelor’s degree in Commercial Art, I spent six years passionately teaching art to children of all ages. I taught at two christian schools, a homeschool co-op, and held classes in my home studio, which challenged me to combine my love of art with my love of children. My art was always something that gave me purpose and helped heal the part of me that no surgery could.
In a society where a girl’s appearance seems to determine her worth, I continue to struggle to believe that God made me the way I am on purpose and calls me a masterpiece.
The mean names and comments when I started school made me realize for the first time that I was different from the other kids. I still vividly remember a boy in second grade laughing at me and asking, “What’s wrong with your face?” The deep hurt I felt over the behavior of these bullies (who were not only children, but often adults) caused me to become an extreme people pleaser. It took many heartaches for me to realize that a true friend loves you for who you are and not for what you can do for them. As I continue to heal inside and out I am thankful for these lessons. I am learning to use my pain to identify with and to love other hurting people.
My sweet and talented husband encouraged me to write this post and share my story with you. With our little farm as a backdrop, Michael took these recent shots celebrating the completion of my final surgery. I feel so blessed for my wonderful husband and my two little princesses. I am thankful that God loved me and made me, ME!
For the first time I feel beautiful!
This made me cry. So beautifully written. Your parents are amazing. By the way, I always thought you were pretty. I remember being surprised that you liked my brother, because I thought you were too pretty for him when we first met you. Sorry Michael! 🙂 Love all the baby pictures. Thanks for sharing.
Honestly, I wondered if any man would want a girl with a cleft lip. I feel so blessed to have married such a wonderful, handsome man. Most of my friends are super jealous because Michael is such an involved father, affectionate spouse, and supportive partner. But thank you for your sweet comment!
Dear Sara Jo,
I was deeply touched first by your beauty, second by what your home and work so clearly convey; softness, a warm, loving soul. There is a glow about your home and about your family. After reading your story I see where you got such sensitivity and perspective. You are BEAUTIFUL. I MEAN IT. Your face, your smile, your art, your home all reflections of your inner beauty. I may understand more than you know because I had leukemia and almost died. A donor from Europe saved my life. I am a writer. A better one having been through pain and sorrow. It fashions us for better things, doesn’t it? Nice to meet you Sara and thank you for sharing your painful experience with all of us.
Your comment really touched me Alicia. It is so true that pain and sorrow help to mold us into stronger, kinder, more thankful people. As a walking miracle yourself I am sure you appreciate life more and making every moment meaningful. I am so glad that God placed that amazing donor from Europe in your path, He so good to his beloved children! Thank you for sharing the story of your journey towards healing with me. I have a true kindred spirit in you! Much Love, Sara Jo
Beautiful story, and gorgeous pictures! I have honestly never noticed your lip! You were such a cute little girl! Praise God for filling your life with good things! Blessings!
Sara, I love you and this is so brave of you to write. Miss you and hope all is well. (Cammy looks just like you!!!!) 🙂
so Sara, I remember all those clothes of yours in the various pics, except of course the current dress!! Those pictures brought back so many fond memories of your mom and I raising our brood together!! now u have a mini sara jo and a mini jed!! you were always and continue to be beautiful!!
Thank you to everyone for your sweet comments and loving support. This post was not easy for me to write, but I felt like it was something the Lord wanted me to do. The tears defiantly flowed as I looked at old pictures and painful memories came flooding back.
My hope is that my story can give another hurting person some encouragement. Jeremiah 1:5 is the truth that keeps me going! Thank you Lord Jesus for making me. I want to see people the way You do!
How I missed this blog I will never know. Thankful I spotted it after reading another. Oh my Sara Jo, you are, as Alicia said beautiful inside and out and have created a beautiful life for your beautiful family on your beautiful farm. God don’t make no junk and he made you JUST how you are for a reason!
Thank you Lori, accepting that God made me the way I am is still a daily struggle. Believing the lies of the world and feeling the pressure to define my worth based on man’s definition of beauty is a constant battle. I want to be a woman who boldly proclaims the name of Jesus and trusts His amazing plan for my life. Thank you for being yet another friend who is lifting me up and helping me in my journey.
I am so blessed by your story! Thank you for sharing. I knew a girl in 5th grade who had a cleft lip and kids including myself were not very nice to her. As I look back on how she must of felt, I feel awful that I and others behaved so badly. I pray for her healing and for God to heal me as well for being so mean. It is never right to do such things. I think you are beautiful, even before your surgery! You are so blessed because you took your suffering and are using it for God’s glory! I am so inspired by your blog and your youtube channel. Hope you make more vids. I think you are wonderful. You are blessed to have such a true faith in Jesus!
Wow Nori, Your comment brought tears to my eyes simply because out of all the children and adults who have persecuted me for my cleft lip through the years No One has ever had the courage or conscience to apologize. Thank you your words brought a bit more healing to me! XOXO P.S. We hope to make more videos for our YouTube Channel once it is too cold to work on our exterior and we have our kitchen, so mid January??? Thanks for all your support!
Thank you for sharing your story. I would NEVER have known you’e gone through so much. And I would never have known you were born with a cleft lip. My first thought at the top of this page, when I saw that photo, was, ‘Wow, she should be a model”.
You are beautiful, inside and out. And very, very talented. ; o )
What a sweet thing to say Cecile! Thank you for your kind words of encouragement.
Thank you for writing this beautiful and courageous testimony! It truly is heartbreaking when others bully you for being different. I think you are so beautiful inside and out ❤❤❤. Im truly enjoying getting to know you and your sweet little family!
Darling girl you are beautiful inside and out.You always were.Your light shines from within.I am so sorry you went through such pain in your life.You and your family are building such a beautiful home and life.I wish you such happiness and joy.xxx
Thank you for all your love and support. It truly means a lot to our family.
Sara Jo,
I can honestly say all the insecurities you had
I completely understand.
I am one of five and the only one born with deformities.
I have tried to be a people pleaser my whole life as well and was absolutely tortured in school. To this day I am EXTREMELY self conscious about myself. I always thought I would have to live my life alone until I met the most amazing man – who saw past my physical appearance. We have been married for 28 years and God blessed me with 3 amazing kids. I have to say though Sara Jo you truly are a beautiful woman and an amazing mom to those precious girls!! Thank you for sharing your story!
Thank you for sharing your story Yvonne. God has obviously done amazing things in your life and through your life. It can be hard to see the reason sweet babies are born with such a tough burden to bear, but I love hearing about strong women like yourself who turn their pain and suffering into a beautiful picture of God’s love. Give that wonderful husband and your precious children a squeeze from me. Much Love, Sara Jo Floyd
This is a wonderful testimony! Thank you for being so open and honest! And you are beautiful inside and out!
I have realized that the more I am open and talk about this part of my life, the less power that the bullies words have over me. Thank you for your sweet support.
Awhh..you are a very beautiful person inside n out!!Your love of children,God’s creation,old homes,art,etc;speak loudly of your inner spirit!!God doesn’t waste pain..and as hard as this story was to share,you are blessings others who made need a dose of love n courage to “go forth”.I especially loved hearing about how your parents dealt with this in a time when they probably had to stand alone.What courage!And what a beautiful legacy for you!!God has given you a great way of putting words together also!!Blessings to you and your loved ones..
Thank you Rosanna. I am blessed by your kind words and I feel God has blessed me so much in my life. It is wonderful to look back and see His plan more clearly. I am trying to use my story to encourage and inspire other women.
What a beautiful post of courage! Your heart is amazing and shows in all your photos and posts!! ❤
What a sweet story and I’m so glad you shared it! I wasn’t born with a cleft palate, but have still struggled all my life with insecurity (and I’m 48!!). My journey to healing is not finished yet, but I’m beginning to see myself as the masterpiece God created! I’m reading a fabulous book called “When People are Big and God is Small” by Edward T. Welch about overcoming peer pressure, codependency and the fear of man. It’s crazy to think that this is still a struggle for me… and I’m sure so many others!!
You truly are a daily inspiration for me. You’re gorgeous inside and out. A true reflection of God’s love. Thank you for sharing 😁
Thank you for such a kind comment my friend. God Bless
It almost seems rude to say “I would never have known” because that missed the whole point of what you have lived and learned. Strictly from an appearance point of view though, simply impossible to tell, you are indeed so pretty. But the celebration of your life and Abbie’s makes you truly BEAUTIFUL!!!
I was so surprised! I have been reading this blog yesterday and this morning. Looking at all the photos of your accomplishments and your family and you. I NEVER noticed anything about you except that you’re lovely..
Thank you sweet friend for your kind words.
You are a very beautiful lady, My daughter was born with a very large neavas(strawberry birth mark) `Which was very large and prtruded larger than her nose. People were so so cruel to her and me as her mother. When she 4 months old the started lazer treatment and at 18 months old she had it removed, she has a large scar down her forhead and nose. But my daughter is the most beautiful girl, inside and out and i thank god every day that she is mine to hold. Your story was heartbreaking but lovely to see you happy.
We are all Beautiful in God’s eyes. I love that your daughter the way God sees her. Thank you for taking the time to tell me a bit of her story and for encouraging me today.
You are beautiful, especially your smile! PTL!
You are stunningly beautiful! I am so glad you have embraced how beautiful you are…and how unique, talented, special & fearfully & wonderfully you are made. My oldest stepdaughter is so much like you…she, too, was born with a cleft lip & palate, and she is also blessed with creativity and a tremendous heart for people. If we allow it, God always uses the challenges and hurtful things in our life to be part of our growth, and He also uses those same things as a blessing to others. The enemy would love nothing more than for us to make ourselves smaller in our (painful) circumstances. God gets the victory when we choose to let him use us to bless others in our most vulnerable areas. In His grace, Michelle
Thank you for your kind encouragement
Sara Jo – I just confirmed my subscription to your blog this afternoon (it is about 5:00 p.m. Monday here in British Columbia, Canada! I wanted to let you know that when I first found you on Instagram through two other pages (Leah of “Home Grown Hansens” and Mandy of “A September Monday”) I saw your beauty, your sweet pretty daughters, a handsome husband, a farm you were rejuvenating and restoring, and your Christian faith. As I viewed your posts and photos – I was also blessed with your willingness to share your faith, the beautiful short glimpses of farm life, and your home. I never once noticed or saw someone with a cleft lip repair until your transparent sharing of your struggles. I pray that you will always keep that tender heart for others – share your faith and your life – and when you get those negative comments, delete them so you are NEVER tempted to keep going back. You have always answered those with grace – yet I see that some continue to post negative responses – I encourage you that if your response does not soften their heart – then delete them. God wants us all to keep going forward to a better life when we give our hearts to Him. For you that is sharing your life on the farm, your faith and the adoption journey to bringing your sweet Ellie Pearl home – and to show others that there is joy and laughter beyond the pain that may have been caused by others. I pray God’s richest blessings on all of your!
Thank you sweet friend for your incredible support and encouragement ♥️ I sometimes share the negative comments for accountability purposes. I think people are less likely to take the time to write nasty comments if they I know I will expose them. I also love to turn judgmental comments into a teachable moment. Often I can turn what someone meant for evil into something good. I’m not the type who shoves things under the rug. I want to bring them into the light. I hope that makes sense. We don’t have to shy away from mean comments if we can learn something from them. Today, lots of people realized that perhaps returning to reading blogs would be a nice change.